I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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