I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
