....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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