It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
