margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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