I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You've changed since you got that strap on
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
