ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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