your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
