my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize