You work out of a Hotel?
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Be still, my beating vagina.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
