oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize