Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
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