My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Randomize
