Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
