yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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