I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Randomize
