So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
