It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not ubering you a puppy
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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