he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i want to swaddle you in tequila
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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