have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Come share oat with me in your robe
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