we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
The dick lei will go down in squad history
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
