I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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