Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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