The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
