I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
