What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
