i think my tv is drunk
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize