are you so shy because you have an std?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
