Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Sacagawea was the original milf.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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