She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
