That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
