Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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