No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
