a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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