Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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