your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
