I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
