Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
