Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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