Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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