i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize