I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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