Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
