we have pet lesbian snakes
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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