the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
