Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
