Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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