Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
