fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
