Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm just crazy horny about you
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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