i may or may not be watching the land before time
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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