before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
