Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
