Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
